I have always had this incessant need to utilise a creative outlet in some or any form. This is not for anyone else or for approval or for any other reason than my own mind gets clouded. I don’t actually need to create anything for someone else to see but just in the same way someone might go for a run, I have that same restlessness that comes with not letting yourself channel your creativity.
It can be anything from writing some ideas down to priming some canvas in preparation for a painting. I enjoy the whole process and I possibly enjoy the process more than the end result at times.
I have spent years painting with the seed of the idea of what I really want to express. I have had some doubt about my ability over the years, as I’m sure a lot of artists do from time to time. I have decided to give myself a break. I would love to get to the root of my ideas and find the right way to express them. Since leaving college I probably have never really found my focus. I struggled settling on any one theme all through my years in college, which is still the same now. I think it is the uncertainty of the result that can throw my confidence in my work. The lack of focus on one singular theme does not ever change my want to create but it definitely slows me down.
For the next while I am going to just do some work, whether the theme dramatically changes from week to week won’t be my worry but getting the physical work done is the next challenge. I have so many themes that draw me in, there is no ‘where to start’ its just a case of start!